Five Steps to Curb Body Shaming



You know you do it. Even the sweetest amongst us does it.

It comes almost as naturally as breathing – to look at our body or some other woman’s body and judge it.

“She has no business wearing a sleeveless top with those arms.”

“She’s so fat.”

“My legs are disgusting. This cellulite is so gross.I have to cover it up.”

“I’m not pretty enough.”

“She’s not aging well.”




You may be thinking… I would LOVE to cut this out, but HOW? How can I stop judging my own body, much less those of other women?


Recognize, first of all, that it isn’t really your fault that you do this. We have SO MUCH conditioning in our culture about what women’s bodies are “supposed” to look like that we very naturally and subconsciously strive to “enforce” those standards.

That self-enforcement looks like: dieting, punishing ourselves for “failing” on our diets, hating our bodies and shaming other women’s bodies.

Basically, NEVER being happy in our own skin and not allowing other women to just be happy in theirs.

So how can we STOP this? The first step is truly to become aware. Notice when you catch yourself doing this. And then get curious. Why do I think this? Who taught me that? Why do I think cellulite is gross? Why do I think fat is shameful? Why do I think aging women don’t look good?

Inevitably, the answer to your questions will come back to conditioning.

It can also be you projecting your own body issues onto other women. But your own body issues very very often come back to… what? Correct! Conditioning!

Different cultures and different eras have many different beauty standards. We all know this from studying art and looking at National Geographic when we were little. (I can’t be the only one whose parents had boxes and boxes of National Geographics. I plundered them for school projects on the reg and marveled at the photos of different people from all over the world.)

Simply put: There is NO OBJECTIVE STANDARD as to what is beautiful.

So you don’t need to feel tied down to the current Westernized version of beautiful.

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To set yourself free, you need to become really aware of what is happening. Once you can see that, you can reframe it and move on. The more and more you practice this, the more you will notice a shift in your negative judging thoughts. They will still pop up, but you will be able to love them and dismiss them and replace them with something more positive.


  1. The first step is to become aware of these judging thoughts when they come up. “Ahhh, I just judged that woman’s size.”
  2. Get curious about your judging thought and ask yourself where it came from. “Why did I just judge that woman for her size? Because I think fat bodies are ugly. Why do I think fat bodies are ugly? Because… I just do. But why? Well, magazines and ads and movies and everything holds up thin bodies as beautiful and so I have been taught to associate thin with beauty and fat with ugly.”
  3. Recognize it as the conditioning it is. “Ok, I can see that this is something I was taught and conditioned to think.”
  4. Forgive yourself for thinking it. Send love to that thought. We don’t accomplish anything by hate and judgment, so don’t shut yourself down or get mad at yourself for the thought. “I forgive myself for having this thought, I kind of couldn’t help it. I’m sending that thought love and letting it know I accept that it is there.”
  5. And then reframe it into something more positive and more useful. “I am choosing instead to reframe that thought to: I celebrate that woman’s body size just as she is because all bodies are beautiful.”

When you get used to following these steps, they start to happen very quickly. It isn’t as though you have to give yourself a long lecture every time! You just think… “Oh, ok, I just caught myself judging that woman’s wrinkles. I see that thought for what it is and I forgive myself. I am choosing instead to celebrate beauty at every age!” It takes seconds to do. And it takes repetition to sink in. But you’ve got this!

And if you want more help with your own body love, self-love, confidence or pussy power, reach out to me!

xo laura

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